Saturday, August 10, 2013

The 'New' New Normal

If you ever read the financial section of the newspaper, or watched Lou Dobbs on TV, you know about the 'New Normal'.  The phrase, penned by Bill Gross, it refers to low interest rates and limited stock and bond returns predicted for the long term future. But in The Valley, there is a new 'New Normal'.  'Normal' people are not the norm.  The guy who is adjusted, sleeps well, has a balanced life, and is in control of his emotions is the 'like, so yesterday' as my niece would say.

In the past years, Ol' Si has seen a marked increase of psychopaths in positions of power.  They have little or no people skills. They have fits, tantrums, and probably recall fondly torturing ants in their youth.  Exhibit behavior that would have gotten you fired, and possibly locked away two generations ago.

Of course, the hyper-trendy press LOVES them. Movies are made of their lives. Execs debate why that management 'style' worked. Shell shocked former employees try to hide their pain in the BiographyTV interviews.

These sickies do not think as most of us do. Part of it is either a medical condition or the effects of psychedelic drug use. They may be bipolar, have ADD, ADHD, sleep disorders, permanent PMS, maybe all of those afflictions... something. Rather than treat it, the relish it.

What is going on here? Well, today's popular fiction is that social skills get in the way. Yes, being a jerk makes you successful. Three angry ex-wives, a mistress who jumped off a bridge, and 5 kids that refuse to speak to you means you have made it.  Goldman Sachs will now make you a Partner. VCs will be begging you to sit on their investment team. After all, it takes psychos to know psychos, and it appears that such people generate a hundred-to-one return on investments at IPO time.  You have to wonder if college health centers are being bugged by institutional investors and head hunters, looking for those Computer Science students who stopped getting Ridelin prescriptions filled.

How can abusive people get away with it? I think the shock value of their actions has something to do with it. Starting with Miss Jones, our first grade teacher, we had the controlled, cooperative female personality rammed down our throats.  Little League baseball is all smiles, win or lose. Can't emit gasses or burps in the dugout, like we did when I was a kid. Parents can only cheer, lest they be banished to the parking lot.  In other words, public school reduced us to social mush. A version of 'Barney'.  When someone smashes that norm, we are shocked. What to do? Some hide, some fight back, and some will follow the new leader. Lady Gaga is rich after all.

To be abusive and keep your job,  you need to be right all of the time. Many people will lie in ambush, waiting to get you fired if you screw up. However, if you get a string of good decisions, you start becoming bullet proof. "See" the investors will say. "You have to think out of the box! Kill people if needed, as long as we get the IPO out in the upcoming window!"  Next thing, a corner office awaits at a Semiconductor company.

Young people are noticing this.  Even Dilbert was pitied in a recent cartoon strip. "It must be hard to be a Normal", he was told by a young co-worker with a list of every mental deficiency known to man. You are now a noun, a 'Normal'.

And, like every other micro-trend, 35 startups will jump on this concept immediately. Look for a pile of Indiegogo and Kickstarter funding campaigns for movies on 'How to get rich like Steve Jobs!'.

And, Ol' Si knows a market when he sees one.  In my spare time, I am writing a book. "Scream! "The Driver to Success.". Next will be the seminar series, if I can locate Anthony Robbins' evil twin, "Yell and Throw Furniture on Your Way to the Top!" Companion workout sessions available in Blu-Ray soon.

For once, I will jump in with both feet on a risk. Immerse myself in a startup. Work insane hours. Abuse all around me. I can just see that Porsche in the driveway now!

Yes, I know this whole affair is a very bad trend for society. Speaks ill of our evolution. Sad day for humanity. But, I smell money. As a rich producer of Porno movies once said "Hey, I know we are on the road to Armageddon.  I'm just trying to get my share!"

Ol' Si isn't worried about the consequences to our society or my soul. Well, at least until the plague of locust appear on the horizon.

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Undress for Success

I grew up in your basic lower middle class neighborhood. We didn't have much, but neither did most of my friends. We played baseball, read Mad Magazine, and dreamed about the fast cars we saw every day. We didn't have nice clothes, but it didn't matter. Until early High School. New guys from uptown middle schools showed up with the latest cool styles. Nice golf style wool shirts, real windbreaker jackets like the pro athletes wore. Decent looking slacks. Boat shoes. Si wore what was on sale at the cheap department store before last Christmas or near my birthday. Shoes were my Uncle's discards. Pants a inch too short or long. And, the girls noticed... them not me.

The cool kids had money, their parents had two cars, and they probably took real vacations, somewhere that didn't involve a tent. Rich was cool.  It was clear that I was Not Cool. My self esteem was not high, as you could guess.  But, I was soon saved by the greatest event in teenage social evolution... the removal of school dress codes. Now every guy looked like a slob, because they could. T-shirt, shorts, old tennis shoes. No one wore fancy anything. Rich didn't matter that much, because you could not show it. The counter-culture won!

Right after I got out of college, we entered the era of Disco. America's version of the bubonic plague that ravaged Europe. Women dressed in dancing clothes all the time, even if they really didn't have the body to. Men wore the abomination of the ages, Polyester suites. Men of my generation look back on Disco in the same way that historians view the use of leeches in medicine.  What the hell were we thinking?

Ol' Si tends to put Disco style clothing on the list of things that you don't dwell over, lest you feel depressed and start drinking Gin again. Like going into combat or working at Cypress Semiconductor.

These days, clothing choices are a mixed bag. In The Valley, 'dressed up' is a pair of ironed Khakis from Land's End and a button down shirt of some type. Shoes? Anything/nothing OK. Execs dress up for important customer visits of course; new jeans and a golf shirt (with logo of a famous resort) are the rage. Women who can wear tight jeans do, those who can't wear fashionable skirts.

That is now the way in most of the US. East Coasters are still guys in suits, but that no longer has a good connotation. "Suits" in The Valley speak are clueless MBAs, who parachute in from a bank or consulting firm to reek destruction on your marketing plan or IPO proposal.

This is not to say you won't see suits on local people in The Valley. Walk into any Schwab or Fidelity Investments office. The guy or gal behind the counter wears a Wall Street -worthy suit, crisp white shirt and appropriate red power tie. They are helping someone with the forms needed to deposit those millions of dollars of Google stock options. The slightly confused customer is in shorts, wrinkled shirt and flip-flops. Hasn't shaved in a couple of days, probably just got through a code release all-nighter. The doorman at the Fairmont is very well dressed, helping scruffy locals out of their Tesla Roadsters or Porsche Turbos. Wealthy kids from Menlo Park buy the latest style of torn jeans and beach sandals from well dressed Nordstrom staffers.

Just for grins, I wore a dress shirt and tie to work last week. I had just got a decent haircut the day before, as was feeling a bit dapper. The very attractive lady in accounting smiled at me for the first time.  My boss suddenly seemed nervous. The Prez gave me a long, confused look, almost catching his flip-flops on a cable bridge. People were generally uncomfortable around me.

I was the rich kid on the first day of High School! Maybe I will take a vacation... and leave the tent at home this time.