Fortunate Son

As Ol' Si looks in the mirror every morning, I see something new. An extra grey hair, a bit more wrinkles.  Ah, here comes the sob story, dear readers are thinking. OK, I have had a few minor life issues, missed a few startup opportunities, notably the chance to have an employee number in the 50s at  Cisco. Jumped at a few 'sure things' that gave me stock option paper that adorns the walls of my garage. I wrestle daily with a couple of demons. But, I always get up and move forward. Overall, I am very fortunate in my life and career. And I have an outside expert to back up my humble opinion.

What is bringing all this on? Well, recently, I had lunch again with a young friend, a former intern now a star at a phone app company. We meet regularly now. He is really smart, hip, and clever. Obvious question is why would he bother meeting with Ol' Si?  Well, there is a part of him that is very curious, a part that also makes him successful. We talk about stuff, things that normal 30 year olds do not.  I am different, and that makes even me interesting to him. Of course, it also helps him deal with old guys, now that he is a rising exec.

He was raised in privilege, beyond what I could image. Top neighborhoods, top colleges. Saw the world before his 18th birthday.  He did an internship with my group at a big tech company one summer.  His buddies from college tripped around Europe (literally), but he decided to work... the curiosity thing.  It was an eye opening experience for both of us.  After graduation, he landed in The Valley, and did very well.  He passed me in rank and salary fairly quickly.

He said that I was the only manager during his internship who didn't treat him like an idiot; maybe because it was clear to me that he wasn't. I told the VP of Engineering to be nice to this intern, because we both would be working for him one day. The comment was laughed off, but, sure enough, the VP's resume recently landed in the in-basket at my young friend's company. Lasted about 30 seconds before it hit the Windows Trash Can.

Why did he look me up?  Last year, he wanted a 60's muscle car. The recent IPO was very good to him, and he deserved a couple of toys.  He remembered the pictures in my cube way back then and knew that I was a car guy. Dug up my info on LinkedIn and called me. We spent some time trolling lots, and finally found a nice Chevelle SS396. I knew all the tricks; he avoid a couple of painted over rust buckets and a few more faked SS models. I helped him figure out what was fixable with a tuneup, and what was going to be a money hole. As we checked out cars, we talked. Mostly small talk, mostly about him and his work.

One day, after he bought his muscle car, we had lunch. While wolfing down Sushi, he asked me about my past.  Wanted to know about my college. Did I do Spring Break at Cabo like the other West Coast students did? How was spring skiing in Tahoe? I was reluctant to discuss what it took me to get through college, all the 12 hour shifts at the garage needed to pay for tuition and rent. I was on my own financially at 17.  Spring break? Spent it laying pipe or painting buildings. I preferred to tell stories about racing at Lions' Drag Strip or backpacking in Big Sur. But, he dug in, so I told him the truth.

Then, he said something remarkable. "You are one of the most successful people I know!" "Huh?" was my response. "As a relative success, not an absolute success." he said, "You have come further than most people I have met.  Not much help. I can imagine you are quite proud of yourself". I didn't have an answer, just a empty look.

Lunch was finished, and we both drove away; he in his new Audi R8, me in my old Bimmer. It didn't hit me until the drive home... he was right. At least about the 'relative' part. In this day and age, success is measured against the attainment of others. A dangerous and self-destructive system that we all buy into.  Forget all that.  The boy at 17... what would he think of the man at 55? Would he be pleased? I think Ol' Si at 17 would be.

Lots of us older guys in The Valley can relate to my story. If you one of those, open a beer and toast yourself, you deserve it... relatively speaking.