You enter The Valley up Highway 101 at 100 miles per hour. For a lot of years, it is no brakes, just hard steering. Some people make big bucks and take it somewhere else. Most leave without making much, and settle back where they started. Lots of stories to tell people about The Valley. Strange place to east coasters; here no one cares what Long Island neighborhood you grew up in and most here think Martha's Vineyard is an organic winery.
But, some settle here and work away for their whole career. The Valley is a nice place to live. Weather is perfect, lots of decent food, beaches close, wineries closer, San Francisco less than an hour away. Only thing missing is good BBQ and reasonably priced mansions. Minor stuff, unless you are from Austin.
Ol' Si is not a young guy. Was once, something happened. Forgot what it was. Entering a new stage of life, different than the last one, and the one before that. Still here in The Valley. Still doing fine. Play Squash less and less, but do a round of golf now and then. Skiing went when when my right knee did.
I do appreciate every day above ground, especially when old friends suddenly aren't. Not sure what to think when I get news. "Remember Bill? Yup, the guy who drew that inside straight at the last poker game. Sudden heart attack, didn't know what hit him" A conversation last week over Pho with a buddy.
In the dark of night, Ol' Si sometimes has thoughts about the end, which will come as it does to all. What have I accomplished? Was I a success, failure, or something in between? Why did I take some of the risks I did? In the past, I would wash those feelings away with a sniffer of Scotch. But, when you lose a few friends to the elements, those dark musing need to be controlled. Need to be put in perspective.
You take risks. Some work, some don't. You get up, dust yourself off, and move on. That is how The Valley was built. Failure is not a bad thing, it is just a waypoint on the path to success.
The rest of the world does not necessarily see things that way. Turning on the nightly news, which I rarely do, we are treated to an endless parade of failures.... political, social, and moral. The newscaster may throw in a feel-good about a found dog, but only to get the viewers to hang on for the coming commercials. Why does the media do that? Because we want that.
We have become a mass of humanity sitting on the couch watching the flat screen and judging. Others failing makes people feel good about themselves. American Idol, Reality TV, most sporting events are more about failure than not. NASCAR is popular at least partially because of the spectacular crashes. Oh, before you plop your butt down, don't forget the beer, wine, or pot. Failure is more fun to watch when you are high.
Risk taking....it was the way of The Valley in the 70s through the 90s. Most people were neck deep in something risky. Could have been good, getting in early at Cisco, or bad, getting in late at Lucent. Failure didn't seem to matter in the long run. It was an experience. That way is making a comeback now. Phone apps, novel little hardware products, social networks, all driven by people who are willing to fail and move on to bigger things.
Much of the rest of the country, indeed in the rest of the world it is quite different. Failure in a business will doom your career and finances in Germany. Taxes and employment laws will kill any success in France, so why try. Raising money will be impossible in most of the world. But, in The Valley, people will hold the dice for you. All you have to do is work insane hours, think impossible thoughts, and try. The only failure is being the one on the couch, watching.
Ol' Si didn't get the house in Atherton or the NextJet shares, but did OK. Dark thoughts be gone! I am still above ground. Moving and doing - not sitting on the couch. Scotch doesn't drown life, nowadays it just brings it into focus.
Monday, July 15, 2013
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Civil Disturbance
Ol' Si has seen much change in the world, the country, and our culture. The Valley has had a lot to do with the changes in the culture. Beyond just the effects of technology - chips, software, the Internet, smartphones. The entire 'start up culture' is the way many professionals in the US, and most in The Valley work. Given the decline in traditional 8-5 industrial and business professions, there has to be long term consequences.
Back in the day, my dad had a Union job. Did his 8 hours, came home to a nice meal. House was generally clean, food was hot, laundry was done. Mom worked part time as a receptionist - few women with families had full time gigs. Money was tight. We wore old clothes, had a used car, and just got by each month. But, my parents did have free time. Many to most of the parents had some outside interest that helped hold the community together. Maybe your mom was an aid at the Hospital, volunteering a few hours a week. Your dad may have been a sports coach, a church Elder, or ran the Kiwanis pancake breakfast charity event for the Boy's Club. Everyone did something.
Actually wasn't that hard, as the evenings and weekends were free... few people put in the 12 hour days we consider normal in The Valley. Fast forward to today. Who does that work in the community?
Looking around The Valley, the volunteers at museums, hospitals, and such are all either college students who couldn't find paying jobs or retired people. Not bad or good, just different. The moms and dads don't have much spare time, as they work, come home, and work some more. The internet has connected the world, but has also disconnected many from their communities. Ol' Si helps when he can, but it is difficult when I am working. Not much gas in the tank after a 12 hour session with QA chasing down Priority 1 bugs in a product.
I did enjoy coaching my nephew's baseball team a few years ago. I say coaching, but I really did everything but. Shagged balls in the outfield, groomed the field before the game, made sure the kids were not having lightsaber fights with the aluminum bats. I was between jobs one of the seasons and helped out. Tough part was holding together a coaching staff. We had 6 dads/relatives as coaches, but at any given time 4 were at a work crisis or in China. There were times when we had to help BOTH teams, as the other kids were there with no coaches. I knew that the dads would go to extreme lengths to be with their kids if there was any chance. One dad would do a red-eye from New York each Friday so he could help drag the field for the Saturday game. You knew you were in The Valley when an unemployed programmer was a dirty mess from putting a chalk line on the field before a Little League game. But, not as dirty as his helper, a dad who just made $50M from an IPO.
Looking at the younger guys, I see workers who put in long hours, longer than Ol' Si did at his peak. I wonder if they can sustain it, and what the result on our society will be if they have children. Career or kids; tough to do a good job at both given their pace. Evidence from Europe shows that these workers will simply not have children. Euros make the decision because of taxes, we make it because of time.
The special genes that made The Valley what it is will not matter if they die with the owner.
Back in the day, my dad had a Union job. Did his 8 hours, came home to a nice meal. House was generally clean, food was hot, laundry was done. Mom worked part time as a receptionist - few women with families had full time gigs. Money was tight. We wore old clothes, had a used car, and just got by each month. But, my parents did have free time. Many to most of the parents had some outside interest that helped hold the community together. Maybe your mom was an aid at the Hospital, volunteering a few hours a week. Your dad may have been a sports coach, a church Elder, or ran the Kiwanis pancake breakfast charity event for the Boy's Club. Everyone did something.
Actually wasn't that hard, as the evenings and weekends were free... few people put in the 12 hour days we consider normal in The Valley. Fast forward to today. Who does that work in the community?
Looking around The Valley, the volunteers at museums, hospitals, and such are all either college students who couldn't find paying jobs or retired people. Not bad or good, just different. The moms and dads don't have much spare time, as they work, come home, and work some more. The internet has connected the world, but has also disconnected many from their communities. Ol' Si helps when he can, but it is difficult when I am working. Not much gas in the tank after a 12 hour session with QA chasing down Priority 1 bugs in a product.
I did enjoy coaching my nephew's baseball team a few years ago. I say coaching, but I really did everything but. Shagged balls in the outfield, groomed the field before the game, made sure the kids were not having lightsaber fights with the aluminum bats. I was between jobs one of the seasons and helped out. Tough part was holding together a coaching staff. We had 6 dads/relatives as coaches, but at any given time 4 were at a work crisis or in China. There were times when we had to help BOTH teams, as the other kids were there with no coaches. I knew that the dads would go to extreme lengths to be with their kids if there was any chance. One dad would do a red-eye from New York each Friday so he could help drag the field for the Saturday game. You knew you were in The Valley when an unemployed programmer was a dirty mess from putting a chalk line on the field before a Little League game. But, not as dirty as his helper, a dad who just made $50M from an IPO.
Looking at the younger guys, I see workers who put in long hours, longer than Ol' Si did at his peak. I wonder if they can sustain it, and what the result on our society will be if they have children. Career or kids; tough to do a good job at both given their pace. Evidence from Europe shows that these workers will simply not have children. Euros make the decision because of taxes, we make it because of time.
The special genes that made The Valley what it is will not matter if they die with the owner.
Monday, July 1, 2013
Who's Zooming Who?
Ol' Si doesn't do politics. I consider it the result of too much time in College and not enough time making a living. It tends to create polarizing leaders of dubious moral character. But, the American people need something to believe in. 'Themselves' is apparently not an option. God left the building a generation ago. Need to fill the void. So, we have the NFL, American Idol, and politics. Take your pick!
A young friend asked what my take is on all the NSA/spying mess? I doubt that we can blame the 49ers or JLo for the Prism program. Guess I will have to touch on politics here.
Scott McNealy, the founder of Sun Microsystems, said it best. 'Privacy is gone, get over it', or words to that effect. And, he is right. Oh, that means trust is out the window also. We see what a 16 year old Russian kid can do to your expensive Windows based commerce server -- borrow a few million credit card numbers. Hollywood doesn't trust The Valley and our invincible technology since that Danish teen broke the 'unbreakable' DVD code, and unleashed pirated copies of Star Wars movies all over China.
Trust is gone, privacy is gone. The US government can read all your emails, listen to all of your phone calls, and, via millions of cameras, watch virtually your every move. Driving to Iowa? Cameras along the way are recording your license plate...
Does this bother Ol' Si? Yes, but not for the reasons it bothers younger people. I grew up in a generation where the young people lost faith in the governments and large institutions around the world. At the time, it was based on war, oil politics, and race. A generation of my peers dreamed they would change the world. But, instead, they became lazy and settled back into the same jobs that they reviled in their youth...corporate and government. What is easier and better than a job at the government. Yep, climb the ladder, get the power. Bennies and 40 hour weeks. Hard work not needed. Easy to prep for in college, no Calculus or Thermodynamics classes, just 'study' Comparative Poetry with a Prof who likes to look down girls' dresses. Smoke a joint with him and get an "A".
Apple and Microsoft suddenly took off. Steve Jobs was on the cover of Time magazine, the ultimate statement (back then) that tech mattered! All these guys and gals were making billions in Apricot orchards south of San Francisco. They didn't mind 80 hour weeks, and were actually changing the world. And, the power they had! Suddenly, that job with Uncle Sam wasn't so hot. They were heros, and you... just another bureaucrat. Need to get some of that lightening in a bottle to enhance MY power. Don't want to have to learn to code, however. Would cut into time better used for cocktail party schmozing. But some in Washington were watching closely. Ol' Si saw first hand what the intelligence community thought when they saw what teenagers can do with a $600 Apple II. They flipped out.
So, through the magic of DARPA funding, the two forces merged and we have the NSA. Provides a valuable service, I believe. The ability to project power in a the cold war was one thing, in an age of random loonies blowing up things, quite another. How better for the government to find out what the bad guys are going to doing before they do it? The Valley could turn out technology to deal with ALL communications on the planet. Just throw lots of money at them.
I have attacked my generation for being lazy and overly concerned with power politics, yet have justified use of unlimited power -- the power to grab all data short of brain waves. Didn't I pay attention in the general ed class on Logic? And, what does this have to do with The Valley now?
We have created a monster with Valley technology. But it is OUR monster, at least now. The EU will scream, the Russians will scream. Of course, they will scramble back underneath their rocks if/when NSA ever released data on the vast amount of industrial espionage being done by our 'friends' in Japan, France, Germany, and other places.
To those who are shocked at the need for spying, I would ask the value of a human life if/when interceptions prevent a terrorist incident. Lots of innocents in NY city can tell you. To those shocked at the amount and potential abuse of spying, I would ask them to look in the mirror. Tell yourself that you made the right choices of political leaders for the right reasons. Race, nice looking family, cool ranch, ability to play the Sax are NOT valid reasons.
It bothers me is that we have the power to destroyed privacy. We do and we cannot go back. But, it bothers me even more that we cannot elect leaders that have the wisdom to use that power wisely for it's intended purpose. We are too lazy to think through all of the issues and demand answers from our political candidates. And, that assumes we even KNOW who the people in elected office are. Ask any urban voter "who is the top point guard in the NBA?" Now ask them to name their elected official in the House of Representatives. There is the real problem. We are back to the lazy thing...
Ol' Si? I have accepted that there is no privacy. My strategy for getting around the NSA is to have such a boring life, that monitoring it would put any spook to sleep within 5 minutes.
So far, my strategy seems to be working. The IRS hasn't called in years.
A young friend asked what my take is on all the NSA/spying mess? I doubt that we can blame the 49ers or JLo for the Prism program. Guess I will have to touch on politics here.
Scott McNealy, the founder of Sun Microsystems, said it best. 'Privacy is gone, get over it', or words to that effect. And, he is right. Oh, that means trust is out the window also. We see what a 16 year old Russian kid can do to your expensive Windows based commerce server -- borrow a few million credit card numbers. Hollywood doesn't trust The Valley and our invincible technology since that Danish teen broke the 'unbreakable' DVD code, and unleashed pirated copies of Star Wars movies all over China.
Trust is gone, privacy is gone. The US government can read all your emails, listen to all of your phone calls, and, via millions of cameras, watch virtually your every move. Driving to Iowa? Cameras along the way are recording your license plate...
Does this bother Ol' Si? Yes, but not for the reasons it bothers younger people. I grew up in a generation where the young people lost faith in the governments and large institutions around the world. At the time, it was based on war, oil politics, and race. A generation of my peers dreamed they would change the world. But, instead, they became lazy and settled back into the same jobs that they reviled in their youth...corporate and government. What is easier and better than a job at the government. Yep, climb the ladder, get the power. Bennies and 40 hour weeks. Hard work not needed. Easy to prep for in college, no Calculus or Thermodynamics classes, just 'study' Comparative Poetry with a Prof who likes to look down girls' dresses. Smoke a joint with him and get an "A".
Apple and Microsoft suddenly took off. Steve Jobs was on the cover of Time magazine, the ultimate statement (back then) that tech mattered! All these guys and gals were making billions in Apricot orchards south of San Francisco. They didn't mind 80 hour weeks, and were actually changing the world. And, the power they had! Suddenly, that job with Uncle Sam wasn't so hot. They were heros, and you... just another bureaucrat. Need to get some of that lightening in a bottle to enhance MY power. Don't want to have to learn to code, however. Would cut into time better used for cocktail party schmozing. But some in Washington were watching closely. Ol' Si saw first hand what the intelligence community thought when they saw what teenagers can do with a $600 Apple II. They flipped out.
So, through the magic of DARPA funding, the two forces merged and we have the NSA. Provides a valuable service, I believe. The ability to project power in a the cold war was one thing, in an age of random loonies blowing up things, quite another. How better for the government to find out what the bad guys are going to doing before they do it? The Valley could turn out technology to deal with ALL communications on the planet. Just throw lots of money at them.
I have attacked my generation for being lazy and overly concerned with power politics, yet have justified use of unlimited power -- the power to grab all data short of brain waves. Didn't I pay attention in the general ed class on Logic? And, what does this have to do with The Valley now?
We have created a monster with Valley technology. But it is OUR monster, at least now. The EU will scream, the Russians will scream. Of course, they will scramble back underneath their rocks if/when NSA ever released data on the vast amount of industrial espionage being done by our 'friends' in Japan, France, Germany, and other places.
To those who are shocked at the need for spying, I would ask the value of a human life if/when interceptions prevent a terrorist incident. Lots of innocents in NY city can tell you. To those shocked at the amount and potential abuse of spying, I would ask them to look in the mirror. Tell yourself that you made the right choices of political leaders for the right reasons. Race, nice looking family, cool ranch, ability to play the Sax are NOT valid reasons.
It bothers me is that we have the power to destroyed privacy. We do and we cannot go back. But, it bothers me even more that we cannot elect leaders that have the wisdom to use that power wisely for it's intended purpose. We are too lazy to think through all of the issues and demand answers from our political candidates. And, that assumes we even KNOW who the people in elected office are. Ask any urban voter "who is the top point guard in the NBA?" Now ask them to name their elected official in the House of Representatives. There is the real problem. We are back to the lazy thing...
Ol' Si? I have accepted that there is no privacy. My strategy for getting around the NSA is to have such a boring life, that monitoring it would put any spook to sleep within 5 minutes.
So far, my strategy seems to be working. The IRS hasn't called in years.
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Fortunate Son
As Ol' Si looks in the mirror every morning, I see something new. An extra grey hair, a bit more wrinkles. Ah, here comes the sob story, dear readers are thinking. OK, I have had a few minor life issues, missed a few startup opportunities, notably the chance to have an employee number in the 50s at Cisco. Jumped at a few 'sure things' that gave me stock option paper that adorns the walls of my garage. I wrestle daily with a couple of demons. But, I always get up and move forward. Overall, I am very fortunate in my life and career. And I have an outside expert to back up my humble opinion.
What is bringing all this on? Well, recently, I had lunch again with a young friend, a former intern now a star at a phone app company. We meet regularly now. He is really smart, hip, and clever. Obvious question is why would he bother meeting with Ol' Si? Well, there is a part of him that is very curious, a part that also makes him successful. We talk about stuff, things that normal 30 year olds do not. I am different, and that makes even me interesting to him. Of course, it also helps him deal with old guys, now that he is a rising exec.
He was raised in privilege, beyond what I could image. Top neighborhoods, top colleges. Saw the world before his 18th birthday. He did an internship with my group at a big tech company one summer. His buddies from college tripped around Europe (literally), but he decided to work... the curiosity thing. It was an eye opening experience for both of us. After graduation, he landed in The Valley, and did very well. He passed me in rank and salary fairly quickly.
He said that I was the only manager during his internship who didn't treat him like an idiot; maybe because it was clear to me that he wasn't. I told the VP of Engineering to be nice to this intern, because we both would be working for him one day. The comment was laughed off, but, sure enough, the VP's resume recently landed in the in-basket at my young friend's company. Lasted about 30 seconds before it hit the Windows Trash Can.
Why did he look me up? Last year, he wanted a 60's muscle car. The recent IPO was very good to him, and he deserved a couple of toys. He remembered the pictures in my cube way back then and knew that I was a car guy. Dug up my info on LinkedIn and called me. We spent some time trolling lots, and finally found a nice Chevelle SS396. I knew all the tricks; he avoid a couple of painted over rust buckets and a few more faked SS models. I helped him figure out what was fixable with a tuneup, and what was going to be a money hole. As we checked out cars, we talked. Mostly small talk, mostly about him and his work.
One day, after he bought his muscle car, we had lunch. While wolfing down Sushi, he asked me about my past. Wanted to know about my college. Did I do Spring Break at Cabo like the other West Coast students did? How was spring skiing in Tahoe? I was reluctant to discuss what it took me to get through college, all the 12 hour shifts at the garage needed to pay for tuition and rent. I was on my own financially at 17. Spring break? Spent it laying pipe or painting buildings. I preferred to tell stories about racing at Lions' Drag Strip or backpacking in Big Sur. But, he dug in, so I told him the truth.
Then, he said something remarkable. "You are one of the most successful people I know!" "Huh?" was my response. "As a relative success, not an absolute success." he said, "You have come further than most people I have met. Not much help. I can imagine you are quite proud of yourself". I didn't have an answer, just a empty look.
Lunch was finished, and we both drove away; he in his new Audi R8, me in my old Bimmer. It didn't hit me until the drive home... he was right. At least about the 'relative' part. In this day and age, success is measured against the attainment of others. A dangerous and self-destructive system that we all buy into. Forget all that. The boy at 17... what would he think of the man at 55? Would he be pleased? I think Ol' Si at 17 would be.
Lots of us older guys in The Valley can relate to my story. If you one of those, open a beer and toast yourself, you deserve it... relatively speaking.
What is bringing all this on? Well, recently, I had lunch again with a young friend, a former intern now a star at a phone app company. We meet regularly now. He is really smart, hip, and clever. Obvious question is why would he bother meeting with Ol' Si? Well, there is a part of him that is very curious, a part that also makes him successful. We talk about stuff, things that normal 30 year olds do not. I am different, and that makes even me interesting to him. Of course, it also helps him deal with old guys, now that he is a rising exec.
He was raised in privilege, beyond what I could image. Top neighborhoods, top colleges. Saw the world before his 18th birthday. He did an internship with my group at a big tech company one summer. His buddies from college tripped around Europe (literally), but he decided to work... the curiosity thing. It was an eye opening experience for both of us. After graduation, he landed in The Valley, and did very well. He passed me in rank and salary fairly quickly.
He said that I was the only manager during his internship who didn't treat him like an idiot; maybe because it was clear to me that he wasn't. I told the VP of Engineering to be nice to this intern, because we both would be working for him one day. The comment was laughed off, but, sure enough, the VP's resume recently landed in the in-basket at my young friend's company. Lasted about 30 seconds before it hit the Windows Trash Can.
Why did he look me up? Last year, he wanted a 60's muscle car. The recent IPO was very good to him, and he deserved a couple of toys. He remembered the pictures in my cube way back then and knew that I was a car guy. Dug up my info on LinkedIn and called me. We spent some time trolling lots, and finally found a nice Chevelle SS396. I knew all the tricks; he avoid a couple of painted over rust buckets and a few more faked SS models. I helped him figure out what was fixable with a tuneup, and what was going to be a money hole. As we checked out cars, we talked. Mostly small talk, mostly about him and his work.
One day, after he bought his muscle car, we had lunch. While wolfing down Sushi, he asked me about my past. Wanted to know about my college. Did I do Spring Break at Cabo like the other West Coast students did? How was spring skiing in Tahoe? I was reluctant to discuss what it took me to get through college, all the 12 hour shifts at the garage needed to pay for tuition and rent. I was on my own financially at 17. Spring break? Spent it laying pipe or painting buildings. I preferred to tell stories about racing at Lions' Drag Strip or backpacking in Big Sur. But, he dug in, so I told him the truth.
Then, he said something remarkable. "You are one of the most successful people I know!" "Huh?" was my response. "As a relative success, not an absolute success." he said, "You have come further than most people I have met. Not much help. I can imagine you are quite proud of yourself". I didn't have an answer, just a empty look.
Lunch was finished, and we both drove away; he in his new Audi R8, me in my old Bimmer. It didn't hit me until the drive home... he was right. At least about the 'relative' part. In this day and age, success is measured against the attainment of others. A dangerous and self-destructive system that we all buy into. Forget all that. The boy at 17... what would he think of the man at 55? Would he be pleased? I think Ol' Si at 17 would be.
Lots of us older guys in The Valley can relate to my story. If you one of those, open a beer and toast yourself, you deserve it... relatively speaking.
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Detested Development
Ol’ Si was having dinner and drinks, well mostly drinks,
with the Good Doctor, GD as I call him. The GD is a long time friend, going
back to my days in the bowels of Blue Collar America, when there was such a
thing. We climbed out and both of us have done well…living a life that neither
could have possibly imagined then.
The GD is an amazing guy and a true friend. We were close in our childhood, a still are, even as we got older. One of a handful of old friends I have.
What does this have to do with The Valley? Living and
working here, we tend to have two kinds of friends…old and new. The new ones are a rarity.
Old friends don’t understand what I do in Tech or why. We are all crazy here…squirrels in a cage. We are a novelty to them - tellers of weird stories. We are knowers of now-famous High Tech legends… people who we worked with when they were they were just regular jerks.
GD and I can talk about our lives, and I can learn about the world outside of Agile Scrums and ASIC spins. The conversations fall on current politics, wayward siblings, and what ever happened to who.
Old friends don’t understand what I do in Tech or why. We are all crazy here…squirrels in a cage. We are a novelty to them - tellers of weird stories. We are knowers of now-famous High Tech legends… people who we worked with when they were they were just regular jerks.
GD and I can talk about our lives, and I can learn about the world outside of Agile Scrums and ASIC spins. The conversations fall on current politics, wayward siblings, and what ever happened to who.
New people tend to be ‘Friendenemies’… those around you. You can be pleasant, but can never let your guard down. Sad, really, but that is
The Valley. 'Friendenemies' are competitors, via a social pecking
order that no one completely understands. For younger people, it is all about
the hot company and the job title. Tough to figure out, since everyone is now a
‘Senior Director’, even the guy who cleans the men’s room. Got to have a title,
I guess.
Once in a while, you can turn a Friendenemy into a real old-style
friend. Usually happens via shared adversity; a dying startup, a common jerk boss.
And, they come easier with a bit of age. But, the process is painful if you do not understand it.
Ol’ Si had no mentors, few confidants, only a handful of friends in The Valley... had to figure this place out on my own. Early on, I learned a LOT about business from
columnists in the old Esquire Magazine, circa 1980. For no good reason, the then Editor
was replace by someone who thought every
guy wanted a $20K wardrobe with pink shirts, and intelligent columnists were not needed. But, I
digress… the old magazine writers regularly discussed what it is REALLY like in
corporate America. Such writing made me think, gave me ideas, expanded my
world. The writers at the old Car and Driver magazine opened the world of gonzo engineering.... the concept that crazy ideas are fun to implement. Of course, C&D went corporate with the collapse of the magazine industry. No more Tequila -soaked road tests in Mexico. These older guys were my group of mentors, I suppose. May they rest in peace.
I could never understand why so many people in The Valley were jerks, but the
more I read, the more I realized that it is the same in most places: New
York City, Washinton DC, Detroit, or San Jose. One quote, tacked on my wall, summed
it up well. “You shall have no real friends in business, just a bunch of
annoying siblings”.
Personal and professional development
is in your own hands. Read from those wiser than you. Try to maintain old
friends. Try to find a very few new friends as you sift though all the
Friendenemies. Yes, you will find a few,
but only a few. It is not you, it is everywhere in the ‘developed’ world
of business. You will detest many of the poeple in the working world, merely dislike the rest. Learn to live with it.
Ol’ Si? I don't worry too much. Most of the truths I held as a young man were shattered long ago. I am a man with a few beliefs however. Like now… I believe I will
have another beer. And, I will toast long
unemployed writers at Esquire and C&D who survived their own ‘Valleys’. Thanks for the help. I wouldn’t have
made it without your wisdom and humor. Didn’t find much of either here in The Valley.
Saturday, June 8, 2013
Bitter Man Than I
Ol' Si is winding down yet another job. Looks like the VCs are not going to cough up any more money to keep my company running. Rats are scurrying. Panic in the cubes. Not for me, just another day in the life of The Valley. Off one thrill ride and on the another.
Things were a bit tense in cube-land last Monday morning, so I took an extended lunch. Off to a quiet, dark place to let my mind wander. No, not a sensory deprivation tank, but a movie theatre. One near me, an old place with $4 shows during the day.
Had choices to make.... popcorn or peanuts, chick flick or a horror movie. I decided on something else; a Hollywood attempt to explain The Valley, "The Social Network". Actually, it turned out to be a good movie. Lots of people types and situations that I recognized. I am still haunted by one scene, the part where our 'hero' is dealing with the loss of his college love interest. She wisely blew him off as an immature and vindictive jerk in a restaurant confrontation. As his attempts at winning her back became more cruel and desperate, the hero becomes the evil Dr Startup. His energy appeared to go from winning the girl to the task of winning everything else. I was mentally filling in blanks in the script... "I will show you! Spurn me and I will get my revenge" declared Dr Startup. Sounds like the plot line for a hundred spy and horror movies, but there is a bit of reality in it.
Since walking out of the movie, I have been having thoughts of friends and roommates in my past, many who have been their own derivative of Dr. Startup. A very successful friend fits the storyline, except the jerk part. A lab partner in my senior year of school was a poster child for that kind of angst, and it took a lot of time and much of my booze for him to get over it.
Most successful guys I know well have the same fire in the belly; how many lit up by a spurned romance in college?
I am above all that of course. I accept what is, and move on. No bad memories here, nope....well except for that cute girl in college who blew me off for some clown.....THAT really pissed me off. We would study Calculus together, then work on a 12 pack of Lucky Lager. The other guy ironed his shirts and apparently knew which fork was for salad....like that mattered! Guess it did for her.
At the time I may have screamed out "I will make a lot of money, and be famous, and she will be REALLY sorry that she dumped me! Can't wait to get that perfumed apology letter from her so I can burn it!" Long time ago, details are vague...
I got over it all pretty quickly. Didn't think about it, didn't dwell afterwards, well not much anyway. Don't drink much Lucky Lager, but that probably isn't because of her. Get on with life I always say. You don't want to be driven to success by hated and anger. Never. Bury the pain and move on.
So, many of my friends let this angst -driven part of their young lives drive them. I felt their pain, having that feeling in your gut must be tough! Every time we talked and they discussed their lives, the big promotion, latest IPO, newest house, faster car, lavish vacation, I felt sorry for them....
Ol' Si is sitting in his little condo, after driving home from his shaky job at a dying company, in his old Bimmer. I get the mail and read the monthly statement from my too-small IRA account.
Guess I should have had more of an open mind. You know, used just a small bit of that angst as a driver, a motivator. Shouldn't have buried it so far down, could have let the angst surface occasionally to provide some of the 'push' my friends had.
I don't desire a Bugatti or a Maui beach house you know - but it would be nice to afford a decent house in The Valley. Or, even a 6 pack of a beer better than Lucky Lager...
Things were a bit tense in cube-land last Monday morning, so I took an extended lunch. Off to a quiet, dark place to let my mind wander. No, not a sensory deprivation tank, but a movie theatre. One near me, an old place with $4 shows during the day.
Had choices to make.... popcorn or peanuts, chick flick or a horror movie. I decided on something else; a Hollywood attempt to explain The Valley, "The Social Network". Actually, it turned out to be a good movie. Lots of people types and situations that I recognized. I am still haunted by one scene, the part where our 'hero' is dealing with the loss of his college love interest. She wisely blew him off as an immature and vindictive jerk in a restaurant confrontation. As his attempts at winning her back became more cruel and desperate, the hero becomes the evil Dr Startup. His energy appeared to go from winning the girl to the task of winning everything else. I was mentally filling in blanks in the script... "I will show you! Spurn me and I will get my revenge" declared Dr Startup. Sounds like the plot line for a hundred spy and horror movies, but there is a bit of reality in it.
Since walking out of the movie, I have been having thoughts of friends and roommates in my past, many who have been their own derivative of Dr. Startup. A very successful friend fits the storyline, except the jerk part. A lab partner in my senior year of school was a poster child for that kind of angst, and it took a lot of time and much of my booze for him to get over it.
Most successful guys I know well have the same fire in the belly; how many lit up by a spurned romance in college?
I am above all that of course. I accept what is, and move on. No bad memories here, nope....well except for that cute girl in college who blew me off for some clown.....THAT really pissed me off. We would study Calculus together, then work on a 12 pack of Lucky Lager. The other guy ironed his shirts and apparently knew which fork was for salad....like that mattered! Guess it did for her.
At the time I may have screamed out "I will make a lot of money, and be famous, and she will be REALLY sorry that she dumped me! Can't wait to get that perfumed apology letter from her so I can burn it!" Long time ago, details are vague...
I got over it all pretty quickly. Didn't think about it, didn't dwell afterwards, well not much anyway. Don't drink much Lucky Lager, but that probably isn't because of her. Get on with life I always say. You don't want to be driven to success by hated and anger. Never. Bury the pain and move on.
So, many of my friends let this angst -driven part of their young lives drive them. I felt their pain, having that feeling in your gut must be tough! Every time we talked and they discussed their lives, the big promotion, latest IPO, newest house, faster car, lavish vacation, I felt sorry for them....
Ol' Si is sitting in his little condo, after driving home from his shaky job at a dying company, in his old Bimmer. I get the mail and read the monthly statement from my too-small IRA account.
Guess I should have had more of an open mind. You know, used just a small bit of that angst as a driver, a motivator. Shouldn't have buried it so far down, could have let the angst surface occasionally to provide some of the 'push' my friends had.
I don't desire a Bugatti or a Maui beach house you know - but it would be nice to afford a decent house in The Valley. Or, even a 6 pack of a beer better than Lucky Lager...
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Hackers and Hot Rods
Si is hanging on by his fingertips at Turnaround.com. The company is limping along, and all are doing whatever we can to keep it going. With all the angst in the building, it is tough to go to work every day. The younger engineers and marketing people have it the worst. Most are single and seem to tie their egos to the job and the company image. Old Si can relate, even he was young once.
It is different for us 'older' workers, or, I should say 'the' older worker....me. I work hard, of course, but leave the ego at home in the morning. I do good work, collect good pay, and on Friday, we are all even.
I take a lot of grief each day for being up there in the age range. "Hey! Why don't you Tweet? What? You never went to Cochella? Why do you drink Scotch? What about Tequila?"
Much of the grief us old guys take is deserved. The world changes rapidly, and keeping up is nearly a full time job. Lots of us do not keep up, and one day we are on the street with no place to go. Tough to keep up technically, even tougher socially without some help. I have a niece and nephew who are far to hip for their ages, so I do have a source of knowledge outside of work. At a BBQ last weekend, I was reminded NOT to tuck my shirt in, learned about the new RadioHead downloads, and found out why the Birds are Angry. Lots of it doesn't makes sense, but neither did Grateful Dead songs to my Uncle.
So, what 'value' is there in the organization for an old guy? Day to day, not much. Sometimes the experience in an obscure technology is needed, 'what is RS422?', or a contact at a customer from the distant past, the old drinking buddy now a VP of Supply Base, comes in handy. Not often enough. There is a skill many of us have from the VERY distance past that is invaluable when things are tough. The Hot Rod mentality.
Back in High School, nearly every family had just one car. Usually, the dads would car pool to work. Once every couple of weeks the family car would be free; we could drive it to school. Imagine, ol' Si could cruise in style into the Student Parking Lot, with the ratty Chevy station wagon. 'Have to do something to get my OWN car' was my thought. Not just ANY car, but the DREAM car. At lunch, the guys would debate THE car we would buy when we were rich... that is when we had a job. We all KNEW the best car and would argue our choices for the whole lunch hour. Hemi 'Cuda, 440 Challenger, Boss 302 Mustang, 454 SS Chevelle. But, it was more important to have A car rather than THE car. Hard to go out on a date with a bike, if we even had one. The last part of High School, most of us gear heads had a job in a gas station or repair shop. We worked hard, and made some money. Things would be slow Saturday night at the station, so the older guys at the gas station would work on their own cars. We all learned by watching.
With some cash saved, we hit the classified ads, check out the street corners, and talk to anyone we knew. "Looking for a car, cheap!" Need something to work on and to get all those girls to the beach in! Finally, one friend would score a car. We would all show up with our ragged set of tools on a Saturday to see the baby. "Well, it has one whole fender not crunched, the driver's seat is fixable with Duct tape, and that nasty idle could be just a bad spark-plug wire!" With several hours of hacking, and our friend would have a running ride. Not the 'dream' car, but something that worked. Wow, it idled like a 440 with a 3/4 cam, but it was just a leaky carb float.
We all found something by the Spring, and had figured out how to get our babies running. For Si, it was a 55 Chevy truck with 410,000 miles. All it needed was a couple of valve guides, an ignition wire, and 2 junkyard tires. For less than $100, I was cool! I didn't get a working radio. That would have to wait. Besides, you couldn't hear the music anyway with the rotting muffler. I decided to ignore the whine that signaled impending doom for the differential. A problem for another day.
We all had wheels! Still thinking about the Dream Car, of course. Working to get an apartment, getting though college, or doing time in the Navy, meant another car had to wait. If we didn't get our girlfriend pregnant, made it back from 'Nam, avoided a DUI, and saved some money, we could cruise in style in our dream car someday. Until then, we had to hack what we had to get around.
We all learned to see the potential of a situation. Your current car was never going to be a 'Cuda, but it ran... you could get a girl to the beach and back. You begged and borrowed tools, used junkyard parts, and worked the system to make the 'deadline', then the Saturday night date.
Back to today, all of that helps deal with the project you are 'lead' on at work. It won't meet the PRD or MRD specs. The sales guys will have to dance to appease the customer. Marcom will need to 'massage' the upcoming Press Release... but it works. And, it delivers value that wasn't there before. It will bring in revenue this quarter and fund the staff we still have.
There are always tradeoffs, always tough decisions when you have limited time or resources. If you maintain a big picture view, you can see what to do now and what to do later, in Version 1.1. You see a process. With my old '55, the project wasn't 'done' until it went to the junk yard 'crusher'.
I kept the '55 running until I could afford a decent used VW. That got me through college, and to the point where I could get a 'dream' car. Not the 'Cuda, not the SS, but something better for the times. The used Dino would have been too cramped. That shiny new Corvette used too much gas. The restored '440 was too noisy. And all would have delayed the purchase of a Condo. Cars were depreciating assets. Property values were going though the roof. Cute nurses didn't seem to care about Hemi Roadrunners, but just loved the pool at your new Condo. Dreams change.... something that you cannot imagine when you are a young gear head.
Turnaround.com will make it through this product cycle. I hacked 55 Chevys then, I hack software releases now. I try to keep the big picture view for my team, the young guys who never turned a wrench on a lube rack, never had to chose between eating dinner and buying gas.
The value in being an old car guy is that perspective. Still, it doesn't help me understand why kids post pictures of their lunch on Facebook....
It is different for us 'older' workers, or, I should say 'the' older worker....me. I work hard, of course, but leave the ego at home in the morning. I do good work, collect good pay, and on Friday, we are all even.
I take a lot of grief each day for being up there in the age range. "Hey! Why don't you Tweet? What? You never went to Cochella? Why do you drink Scotch? What about Tequila?"
Much of the grief us old guys take is deserved. The world changes rapidly, and keeping up is nearly a full time job. Lots of us do not keep up, and one day we are on the street with no place to go. Tough to keep up technically, even tougher socially without some help. I have a niece and nephew who are far to hip for their ages, so I do have a source of knowledge outside of work. At a BBQ last weekend, I was reminded NOT to tuck my shirt in, learned about the new RadioHead downloads, and found out why the Birds are Angry. Lots of it doesn't makes sense, but neither did Grateful Dead songs to my Uncle.
So, what 'value' is there in the organization for an old guy? Day to day, not much. Sometimes the experience in an obscure technology is needed, 'what is RS422?', or a contact at a customer from the distant past, the old drinking buddy now a VP of Supply Base, comes in handy. Not often enough. There is a skill many of us have from the VERY distance past that is invaluable when things are tough. The Hot Rod mentality.
Back in High School, nearly every family had just one car. Usually, the dads would car pool to work. Once every couple of weeks the family car would be free; we could drive it to school. Imagine, ol' Si could cruise in style into the Student Parking Lot, with the ratty Chevy station wagon. 'Have to do something to get my OWN car' was my thought. Not just ANY car, but the DREAM car. At lunch, the guys would debate THE car we would buy when we were rich... that is when we had a job. We all KNEW the best car and would argue our choices for the whole lunch hour. Hemi 'Cuda, 440 Challenger, Boss 302 Mustang, 454 SS Chevelle. But, it was more important to have A car rather than THE car. Hard to go out on a date with a bike, if we even had one. The last part of High School, most of us gear heads had a job in a gas station or repair shop. We worked hard, and made some money. Things would be slow Saturday night at the station, so the older guys at the gas station would work on their own cars. We all learned by watching.
With some cash saved, we hit the classified ads, check out the street corners, and talk to anyone we knew. "Looking for a car, cheap!" Need something to work on and to get all those girls to the beach in! Finally, one friend would score a car. We would all show up with our ragged set of tools on a Saturday to see the baby. "Well, it has one whole fender not crunched, the driver's seat is fixable with Duct tape, and that nasty idle could be just a bad spark-plug wire!" With several hours of hacking, and our friend would have a running ride. Not the 'dream' car, but something that worked. Wow, it idled like a 440 with a 3/4 cam, but it was just a leaky carb float.
We all found something by the Spring, and had figured out how to get our babies running. For Si, it was a 55 Chevy truck with 410,000 miles. All it needed was a couple of valve guides, an ignition wire, and 2 junkyard tires. For less than $100, I was cool! I didn't get a working radio. That would have to wait. Besides, you couldn't hear the music anyway with the rotting muffler. I decided to ignore the whine that signaled impending doom for the differential. A problem for another day.
We all had wheels! Still thinking about the Dream Car, of course. Working to get an apartment, getting though college, or doing time in the Navy, meant another car had to wait. If we didn't get our girlfriend pregnant, made it back from 'Nam, avoided a DUI, and saved some money, we could cruise in style in our dream car someday. Until then, we had to hack what we had to get around.
We all learned to see the potential of a situation. Your current car was never going to be a 'Cuda, but it ran... you could get a girl to the beach and back. You begged and borrowed tools, used junkyard parts, and worked the system to make the 'deadline', then the Saturday night date.
Back to today, all of that helps deal with the project you are 'lead' on at work. It won't meet the PRD or MRD specs. The sales guys will have to dance to appease the customer. Marcom will need to 'massage' the upcoming Press Release... but it works. And, it delivers value that wasn't there before. It will bring in revenue this quarter and fund the staff we still have.
There are always tradeoffs, always tough decisions when you have limited time or resources. If you maintain a big picture view, you can see what to do now and what to do later, in Version 1.1. You see a process. With my old '55, the project wasn't 'done' until it went to the junk yard 'crusher'.
I kept the '55 running until I could afford a decent used VW. That got me through college, and to the point where I could get a 'dream' car. Not the 'Cuda, not the SS, but something better for the times. The used Dino would have been too cramped. That shiny new Corvette used too much gas. The restored '440 was too noisy. And all would have delayed the purchase of a Condo. Cars were depreciating assets. Property values were going though the roof. Cute nurses didn't seem to care about Hemi Roadrunners, but just loved the pool at your new Condo. Dreams change.... something that you cannot imagine when you are a young gear head.
Turnaround.com will make it through this product cycle. I hacked 55 Chevys then, I hack software releases now. I try to keep the big picture view for my team, the young guys who never turned a wrench on a lube rack, never had to chose between eating dinner and buying gas.
The value in being an old car guy is that perspective. Still, it doesn't help me understand why kids post pictures of their lunch on Facebook....
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